motherfucker what is this shit, sand? fuck sand. i hate sand. thanks, mom. thanks for absolutely nothing, leaving me here on this fucking beach, is that a fucking seagull? oh my god, mom, you suck more than anything has ever sucked. i’m getting to that ocean just so i can urinate on your carapace. i’m gonna urinate on it so hard. fucking sand. i think five of my brothers just got eaten. good, i hated those assholes. i’m coming, mom. you’ve got blood on your flippers, bitch.
im a terrible actor omg why did I even audition aparently I really need more confidence but like I’m sorry it’s real fuckin easy to suddenly forget all your anxieties and worries and insecurities suddenly ug sorry
*brings plastic knife to a gang fight*
Brittle, cheap plastic knives are actually pretty great weapons if you file the end down to a point, you can stab someone and then torque your wrist to shatter the plastic blade inside the wound. It’s pretty effective if you do it near a joint or in the gut as those places move a lot and cause the broken shards to shift around.
oh my god
i was in class today and the fire alarm went off so everyone in the giant building had to flood out. some water cooler thing overheated or something and caused a lot of smoke, point is, when we finally got to go back in i headed over to the group of hot firefighters and chatted it up with them
so did things get